Archive for September, 2006


Miss Swan With Buffy Cast

2006 September 30, 1:05 am

[Miss Swan with the Buffy cast]

This is funny. Too bad Buffy isn’t present. That’s all.


Time To Pull Back

2006 September 29, 9:43 pm

For the sake of sanity, I need to detach myself from the desire of ‘my’ certain someone. What is hope? A delusion for an obsession? That is what I have and still have.

It is time I stepped back from those thoughts. Easier said than done…

P.S. Here’s an update: I believe I lost some of my bitchiness. [laughs]


The Video Story Of The Buddha

2006 September 27, 1:46 am

[Growing Up by Leen1707]

This video was made with the editing of certain parts from the movie, Little Buddha. I’m not sure if you have heard the story of the Buddha; it is essential in understanding the above. Allow me to give you just a summary of the symbolism in the video.

The separte parts where, you’ll see an army shoot arrows, which turn into flowers before touching the Buddha and, a few women swinging in front of the Buddha. These two, respectively, are the army of Mara(delusion) and, daughters of Mara, who attempt to seduce the Buddha. They symbolise the internal delusion and temptations.

On a different part, You’ll see the Buddha grabbing hold of the hand of his reflection, which shortly turns into another person. If I am not wrong, this symbolises the equality and emptiness of all beings/something about his past life.

Expanding on the above mentioned, the concept of emptiness simply means that all things are devoid of a true meaning. Using the anology of our way of speech, I’ll attempt to explain…

Speech is made up of words; words, out of deliberation of sound patterns; sound patterns are sound itself. Initially, sound was just sound; it was devoid of meaning. It was the mind that thought out the specific sound pattern to give a meaning to.

So, if ‘this’ means ‘shit’, and ‘shit’, inversely means, ‘this’. Would it not be true that, ‘this is my name.’ would become, ‘shit is my name’. Is it not true that our speech is to a certain extent empty? We can only experience it because we are able to relate to it.

What is relate? If it isn’t relatable, it would be very much like telling the blind, “Look at the idiot in the red cap.” They would be wondering, ‘What do you mean by look?’, ‘What is red?’ and ‘What is a cap?’. Ironically, do you see it now?


Renewed Sense Of Peace

2006 September 26, 10:36 pm

It has been a long while since I have updated the blog. Due to an incident that significantly disrupted my sense of inner peace (for want of a better term), I self-doubted the precepts formed by experience and certain philosophies; my emotions ran hay-wire.

Returning to Buddhism, which formed my very first precept, I delved into it deeper. On some counts, I am in agreement with it. However, I am still agnostic on the concept of rebirth. Not to forget, various Sects of Buddhism reject the idea of it/finds it redundant to achieve enlightenment.


Anyway, I’m some how done with that, and have decided to seek my own path than follow, because of fear. So, the Buddha, is my inspiration. On a more ‘Harry Potter’ perspective; Albus Dumbledore. A person who has nothing to lose, including himself, has no fear…


Controlled By Lust, And Ego

2006 September 19, 10:19 pm

Each day, I long for thy scent but never will I receive its source. Why ought I cling on foolishly? Why does hope have such an effect?

What is love? Yet another way to affirm the ego and thus a source of comfort? It seems that it is all relative to the mind’s eye. Despite so, I crave for thy touch of comfort. But again, I know it is too much to ask for.

Ultimately, I do not matter… find your happiness and I shall seek my lone path. I am very tired, emotionally and mentally.

I am still in the loop; the only difference is that I’m running faster in desperation and consequently slamming myself harder on the wall… I am afraid that I would slip back into depression. To feel helpless and hopeless day after day, lacking the motivation to live life and being numb.


Harry Potter Saga Theory

2006 September 19, 1:14 am

Warnings: Harry Potter Spoilers 1 – 7

I had a thought on the impending end of the Harry Potter Saga… Remember how Dumbledore kept emphasising on the power to love, while Harry remained cynical.

For the benefit of this theory -love is able to conquer Voldemort. In this context, ‘love’ is defined as compassion and empathy.

From The Order Of The Phoenix, Harry was possessed by Voldemort. Citing the statement, ‘for the first time, Dumbledore sounded frightened’, we can interpret it as Dumbledore’s lack of choice to lift the possession for he never is frightened for himself. However, Harry’s power to love, saved himself.

Using the concept of fire being unable to extinguish fire, it would inadvertently mean that Harry has to let go of his hate of Voldemort. He instead has to see Voldemort as an object worthy of compassion and love.

After all, we do know a bit about ancient magic -I am of course citing the example of Lily’s sacrifice for Harry. And I do not believe ancient magic to be a verbal or intended effect, somewhat like Priori Incantatem. In order for it to occur, it has to be a choice, and a powerful emotion that induces a lack of self-preservation. Both present in The Goblet Of Fire– Priori Incantatem, and The Philospher’s Stone– Lily’s sacrifice.

Thus, when Harry detaches his sense of self-preservation and gives out compassion to Voldemort, something might happen. From ancient magic, the concept of fire versus fire, cursed scar and the blood ties from blood magic(the potion that revived Voldemort… In my opinion, everything will play a part, both would be deceased or in essence, gone, due to the connection between the two. The key for it to happen is in

Then again it’s just a theory…


In The Loop

2006 September 18, 5:12 pm

It has been a long time, or so it seems. As horrified as I am to admit, I’m once again in the loop. You know how you keep running in a circle and slamming into the same stone wall; I have lost count on the number of times it happened. Not to forget, it is demeaning to my ego.

Temporarily or permanently, I’ll be on a new diet of life precepts. However, I’m not ready to share them yet. One word for a clue -Buddhism.

Allow myself to elude the loop created by my mind first. The fear of repeating the past.

Impermanance… Consiousness over mind… Meditate… (I’m not joking)