Archive for January, 2007


Overeat And Itch

2007 January 31, 4:05 am

My eyes are in tremendous danger of shutting soon but despite so, I cannot yet sleep; I confess myself to be overeating rather consistently. The stomach craves for a little more, making you mistake it for hunger and thinking it’d be the last bite. However, just as in procrastination, the last bite never comes.

Actually, I can think of more things that follow the same logic -an itch, for example, which is now afflicting my body. The quietly professed ‘last’ scratch never is the last. Hopefully the itch stops when I’m ready to slumber.

It is no wish of mine though to become fat and have sores on my skin. I need to reduce the eating and scratching. To aid in not overeating, I think I ought to print out my life list; especially number four on the list: “Lose weight, especially my big arse!”

– Logish


Memories Of Yesterday

2007 January 30, 12:00 am

Lately I have been rather sentimental as the memories of my soon-to-end teenage life keeps occurring. Late last night after everyone had slept, I opened the windows wide and the wind hit me with a sweet smell of familiarity.

Long had the smell of that very night been forgotten and I smiled at the pleasant reminder. Perhaps it was fear that the reminiscence would fade, for I pressed my face against the grille, desperately breathing in the cool night-time zephyr till my emotions calmed.

As much as I’d like to relate the story, I doubt my state of mind would allow it. Not forgetting, I had once written about it in an essay which since had been irretrievable despite reassurance from the teacher that it’d be returned.

Nevertheless, ponder these words of the trailer that follows. I quote:

“In all our lives there is a fall from innocence. A time after which we’re never the same.” – Stand By Me

Admittedly, being the horny teenager I am, I might not be that innocent. However, I was naive and foolish, and maybe I still am. Soon, though, things will change and nothing can be done.

Note: I graduated the previous year from secondary school and am awaiting the O Level results which would determine my path.

P.S. I have created a poll on the right, please vote and thanks in advance 🙂
– Logish


Peter Rabbit And Beatrix Potter

2007 January 27, 11:59 pm

As you might already be aware, a movie on Beatrix Potter would be opening in cinemas rather soon. I only found out that she was the creator of Peter Rabbit when I saw the trailer.

Really it’s theme song does take me back to fond memories from my seemingly distant childhood. The heart-warming cartoons, feeling of calm and all, succinctly described as the age of innocence and naiveness. How I wish need there not be any growing up.

– Logish


Prejudice Is Ignorance

2007 January 26, 1:10 am

Why heed I, the words of the prejudiced. Is it not true that fear spawns hate, while ignorance is the root of fear. Therefore a person who fears and hate, is motivated by ignorance.

I must neither fault myself for what is, nor for what isn’t. Renounce me if deemed neccessary, I cannot influence your choice. Pain and curse me with whatever you please, despite the fact it was a Hobson’s choice. I have to resign to it.

Let fantasy course through my veins and take me over. It is my only release. Alas, to what extent is a friend, a friend?

“Your blood, like ice” -Alice Cooper

– Logish


Life Reclaimed

2007 January 25, 1:47 am

After about two weeks of angst and then acknowledging it the night before, I am quite sure it is now gone. When one is so obsessively angsty in a situation and spares no time to think objectively, the consequences will no doubt be undesirable.

Obviously I have failed my first goal on the life list but I refuse to give up. Where motivation fails thy mind, the only thing hence left to do is to persist.

Anyway, pray that I’d be able to contact-juggle. I’ve been trying it with a small ball with some progress. I intend to get the proper-sized one next month, or so I hope.

– Logish


Relapse Of Mild Depression

2007 January 24, 5:32 am

Given what had happened in recent weeks, I seem to have sunken into mild depression. I can’t think clearly, tears seem to be on the verge of spilling, no sense of time; just like before.

Take me away… Breathe…

My wants are my curse; my needs are my death. No longer do I want to feel but I am forced to. Let lethargy take me over to an eternal sleep.

My sole motivation is the fact I’ve transcended from livng hell before. Perhaps, again it can happen. I hope, at least, I make it happen.

“I want to taste you but your lips are venemous poison” – Alice Cooper

– Logish


Letter To My Grandfather

2007 January 23, 3:41 am

Dear Ah Kong,

it was today that you left for the next journey nine years before. I was one of your favourite grandchildren. Do I, however, even know if you’d still love me the same for what I have become? Have I become your shame?

I live some days in fear of being left forlorn by those I love. I can’t help but detach myself. It’d be easier for me to leave them than for them to scorn and eventually leave me.

I think about you sometimes, but what use would it be when you are no longer here. Am I naive to think that if you were still here, I’d be loved as I am? I keep my questions going but never will they be answered. As much as I wish you were here my tears will not revive you.

Nonetheless, perhaps from the grave, you’d know this – I love and miss you. At this age, this seems so profane a thing to say but I mean it as it is.

P.S. Wherever you are I hope understanding transcends language.

Your Grandson,

Logen Lanka