Archive for the ‘Philosophy & Paradox’ Category

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Overwhelmed And Tortured By Thoughts

2007 February 19, 12:52 am

Remember my previous entry with the erotic sonnet? One should never entertain such thoughts, especially when pain entails at the end. Forget what I said; so long as one lives, the  spectrums of pain and pleasure is of certainty.

Somehow, someday, I want to do something drastic. I have yet to know what but definitely I am aware of my intentions; to rid of sufferring, through knowledge.

For now, lust and maybe my craving for love entraps me. I apologise for my incoherent ramblings. It happens whenever I am overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts. Therefore, my need for the first on my life-list: Be at peace within and hence, think pragmatically and systematically at all times.
– Logish

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Don’t Take Things For Granted

2007 February 13, 6:21 am

This is quite a simple entry but I deem it important. This is my form of closure before I undertake higher education; to leave behind whoever I’ve come to know and attached to. In the past, I was rather melodramatic about change but now the fact of impermanance is settling in.

This is a dedication to all whom I have met. My sincerity does not lessen if I fail to mention your name. I want it known that some of the conversations we had, no matter how short or seemingly nonsensical, really inspired me and prodded me into deep contemplation.

Mandy and Ais we have been intimate friends for a long time. You both have really added a special perspective to my journey of self-discovery, for which without would take longer for me to reach.

Harris, Lauren, Gui Feng, Nuraini, Chia Hsin and Bala, we have shared many deep and very insightful conversations. Those little quirks of you each, I’d always remember.

Ze An, Zhi Wei, Eileen, Stacy, Guan Yu, Guan Kai, Florence, Jeffrey, Shun Li, Hakim, Nicholas, Khrisha, Krtisty, Mr Vane, Chen Xia, Meryl, Champa and Sook Han; I liken all of you to be like zen masters. The things randomly said and actions done prod me to think a lot, philosophically. Thank you for that.

As for teachers who have inspired me, with philosophy or just pure enthusiasm, they are Mrs Wendy Lai, Mr Terence Tan, Mrs Harridas, Mr Desmond Chan, Mrs Singh and Ms Tanny Koh.

Henceforth, do I wish to move on with life. When we do separate and grow distant, the words here though not succinct, have summarised how I feel about you all. Goodbye to all who would eventually leave; regardless, all the best…

With Love,

Logish

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Guard Thy Darkest Secrets

2007 February 11, 10:44 pm

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When one has something to hide, he would either lie or speak ambiguously, sometimes both. It’s very much the same in novels, and is written with skillful subtlety; so only the handful who are observant and analytical would notice them.

On the subject of ambiguousness, I’ve used it a great deal of times, going to the extent of leaving out minor details to further mislead. As great Poirot once had said: “Never do I deceive you, […]. I only permit you to deceive yourself.”.

That said, I’m not too adverse to lying, especially when the situation permits it. The risks, however, when one contradicts oneself by mistake, is far too huge to take. And I do prefer truths to lies.

Although it is easy to ascertain if one is hiding something, it is difficult to say what it is. It is especially when the secret is crucial to life or death; it will be guarded at the bearer’s expense no matter what, quite ironically; death for a secret untold is nevertheless the same as death by a secret told. Unless, of course, a fate worse than death entails.

The question is, what are you and I hiding beneath our masks…
– Logish

image source: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/572253

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The Results And My Feelings

2007 February 9, 11:48 pm

As with tradition, one-third of my class of so-called “delinquents” were barred entry into the school hall due to our unsuitable hairstyles. Thus, delaying us at least an hour before we could get the envelopes.

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Detained For Improper Hairstyles

My fears were completely unfounded; I scored an L1R4 of 12 points, which is sufficiently good for an ideal polytechnic course. I couldn’t help but stare at the slip periodically, quite disbelieving the results.

Thereafter, a few of my friends and I had lunch at LJ (Long John’s). Of the group, Lauren and I enthusiastically looked over the information booklet, marking the courses that interest us.

Despite the good news, I am saddened for two intimate friends of mine who did not do as well. No one wants to have fewer doors to open for the future, much less if it entails a bleak one. I am determined, in ways I can, to help.

Right now, nostalgia fills my heart. Memories, one after another, flit through my mind and tears threaten to flow at what no longer will be. This is why, each time I try not to attach to people; impermanance, ironically, is the only permanance; the blessing and curse of our existence.

“Your mouth, so hot.

Your web, I’m caught.” -Alice Cooper

– Logish

equivocal note: I want freely to love you, but its just not possible. It tears my insides up so badly…

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Imagination Exhausted

2007 February 1, 7:28 pm

At some point, after replaying the many fantasies in your mind, the imagination plateaus considerably. At least mine has but I’m confident that it’d be back stronger than ever in due course. However, in order for it to recover, I’ll have to let the mind rest for a few days.

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Anyway, I believe that my sleep paralysis is returning as there was an occurance yesterday. I’m not totally opposed to having hallucinations while in a seemingly awake state of mind. It aids in my writing efforts and sometimes appeal to me erotically. Don’t misunderstand me though, there are times when the hallucinations are frightening.

Just imagine opening your eyes to an indescribable face of horror close to you, smiling malevolently at the fact that you cannot move. I shall say no more of it.

– Logish

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Memories Of Yesterday

2007 January 30, 12:00 am

Lately I have been rather sentimental as the memories of my soon-to-end teenage life keeps occurring. Late last night after everyone had slept, I opened the windows wide and the wind hit me with a sweet smell of familiarity.

Long had the smell of that very night been forgotten and I smiled at the pleasant reminder. Perhaps it was fear that the reminiscence would fade, for I pressed my face against the grille, desperately breathing in the cool night-time zephyr till my emotions calmed.

As much as I’d like to relate the story, I doubt my state of mind would allow it. Not forgetting, I had once written about it in an essay which since had been irretrievable despite reassurance from the teacher that it’d be returned.

Nevertheless, ponder these words of the trailer that follows. I quote:

“In all our lives there is a fall from innocence. A time after which we’re never the same.” – Stand By Me

Admittedly, being the horny teenager I am, I might not be that innocent. However, I was naive and foolish, and maybe I still am. Soon, though, things will change and nothing can be done.

Note: I graduated the previous year from secondary school and am awaiting the O Level results which would determine my path.

P.S. I have created a poll on the right, please vote and thanks in advance 🙂
– Logish

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Peter Rabbit And Beatrix Potter

2007 January 27, 11:59 pm

As you might already be aware, a movie on Beatrix Potter would be opening in cinemas rather soon. I only found out that she was the creator of Peter Rabbit when I saw the trailer.

Really it’s theme song does take me back to fond memories from my seemingly distant childhood. The heart-warming cartoons, feeling of calm and all, succinctly described as the age of innocence and naiveness. How I wish need there not be any growing up.

– Logish